A reflection on the illusions we cling to
I was sitting with myself when these thoughts started to arise — gentle but piercing.
The kind that rearranges something inside you. So I began to write.
Identity.
A word we throw around so casually — but have you ever paused to ask what it truly means?
Let’s break it down.
“Identity” comes from the act of ”identifying with”
With someone.
With a story.
With a role.
And so, the great illusion begins.
The Great Construction Project
We spend the first half of our lives building our identity — like a carefully layered cake.
We identify with the body, the face, the figure we were given.
We take time with this one — watching the changes in the mirror through childhood, teens, and finally adulthood.
Rejecting most of it. Accepting only what is socially liked.
Trying to change bits of it to fit everyone’s plate but your own.
Then comes the intellect. We build it with endless comparisons — tests, achievements, IQ scores — clinging to a minuscule version of our vast mind.
Our name evolves too — gaining and shedding meaning as we move through life.
We identify with family — sometimes belonging, sometimes not, slowly seeing similarities as we age.
With religion — finding and losing trust as life unfolds.
With our languages — sometimes stuck defending one, sometimes proud of knowing many.
With our locality — calling ourselves rich or poor, layering status based on where we grew up.
We identify with our diets — vegetarian, vegan, pescatarian, meat lover.
With the clothes we wear, the car we drive, the neighbourhood we live in.
With our opinions. Our beliefs.
Our politics. Our work.
Our income. Our validation.
And we call it all “ME.”
But What Happens When Any of These Layers Fall Away?
What if you lost your job?
Your looks? Your health?
Your status? Your memory?
Would you still be YOU?
Which Brings Me to “Is Identity Just Memory?”
Think of a child.
A child doesn’t identify with all the things an adult does.
They simply are. They experience. They feel.
They don’t hold tightly to labels. They don’t yet have a curated identity.
So what if this identity we protect so fiercely is a created version — not our true self?
Our True Nature?
If that’s true…
What lies beneath the illusion?
The Nothingness Beneath the Mask
What if you let go of all the things you’ve ever used to define yourself One by One ?
Your gender. Your colour.
Your achievements. Your relationships.
Your beliefs. Your opinions.
What if you let go of everything you identify with?
Would you still be someone? Or who would you be… no-one? Nothing?
And is that nothingness something to fear — or something to finally rest into?
Say it aloud:
“I am nothing.”
Just sit with that thought.
Do you feel a strange kind of peace? A soft exhale in the body?
The tension loosening its grip?
That nothing you feel — it might just be your original self.
The clean canvas.
The silent witness.
The space before all the stories.
Returning to the Space Before the Stories
Maybe our truest version is not something we need to find — it is right here.
In the moments between thoughts, the moments – we need to return to.
By taking a deep breath. By undoing. Unlearning. Un-identifying.
You are not your stories.
You are not even the storyteller.
You are the space they arise in.
You are the stillness behind the noise.
So if you ever feel lost in who you are — pause and ask yourself:
Who am I when I stop identifying with everything I’ve built?
And in that pause,
maybe, just maybe —
you’ll meet yourself for the first time.
Let me Leave You With This Reflection
- What roles or labels do you strongly identify with? Can you gently question them?
- What would remain if you let go of your stories, beliefs, and possessions?
- Does the idea of “being nothing” scare you — or liberate you?