Despite all the mental growth, all the spiritual talk, all the so-called “awakening” — it’s remarkable how easily we crawl back to our childhood ideas of success.
The job. The house. The partner. The checklist.
It doesn’t matter how much metaphysics you’ve consumed or how many soul quotes you’ve scrolled past — the moment life slips into a stretch of not doing, you panic.
We’ve been programmed to fear stillness.
When nothing is happening, the mind reaches back to the oldest stories it knows.
And suddenly, you’re chasing the same markers you once thought you’d outgrown — scrambling to fill a void that clarity could have answered, if you’d let it.
How We Twist the Signs
You look for every sign and bend it until it serves the story you want to believe.
A butterfly, a white feather — surely that means “go ahead.”
A phrase overheard — must be the universe speaking directly to you.
A post online, repeating numbers, “he said all the right things” — clearly you’re supposed to chase this and not “throw away your life.”
They could be pointing to “not yet” or “not this at all,” but you flip them into a green light, because it’s what you want in that moment to fill that unrecognised void.
We’ve all done it.
And if you’re honest — those choices rarely age well.
It’s Not A Sense Of Urgency And It’s Definitely Not Clarity
In those moments, you tell yourself you’re being decisive.
There’s rarely any truth in that.
It’s not true urgency — it’s a manufactured sense of urgency born from discomfort with stillness.
It’s not clarity — it’s a quick, neat story your mind invents so you can leap without questioning it.
And all it takes is a few nodding heads to make you feel justified.
The Decisions That Change Everything
It’s moments like these — when people make the choices they’d never dare in calmer waters.
They get married.
Have another child.
Say yes to a relationship they already know is shaky.
Take a job they’ll soon resent.
Go to that party.
Fall for crumbs when they didn’t know what they wanted.
These are not small ripples. They’re lifetime currents.
Why You Keep Doing It
Maybe urgency feels like purpose.
Maybe the restlessness gets really loud, you can’t see reason.
Maybe because “doing” has been drilled into you as proof of worth.
You were taught to move — not to wait.
To act — not to sit.
To choose anything over nothing.
Clarity Is a Choice
But not every open door is meant to be walked through.
Some exist just to see if you’ve learned the art of waiting.
The only way to know the difference is to pause — and not the “five deep breaths” kind of pause.
I mean a real STOP.
A sitting-with-yourself-until-the-truth-shows-itself kind of pause.
This is what meditation is for.
Not background music and incense.
Not “I meditate sometimes” half-measures.
I’m talking about the kind of meditation that sits you face-to-face with your own mind until you can see exactly what’s real — and what’s just restlessness, dressed as an emergency.
It’s not therapy, but it will show you more than therapy can — because it’s your clarity you’re looking for, not someone else’s opinion.
Before you make your next big decision — the kind that reshapes your life — come sit with me.
Fifteen minutes to see clearly. Fifteen minutes to choose from truth.