A quiet reckoning with survival mode, thought addiction, and the nervous system’s strange loyalty to chaos
Some days I sit in silence and wonder:
How many of us are addicted to lives we don’t even like?
Addicted not to the events — but to the chemicals. The adrenaline of conflict. The cortisol of stress.
The quiet thrill of preparing for disaster, even when life isn’t asking for it.
We say we’re tired of the drama. The same arguments, the same emotional loops.
But are we actually… wired for them?
Do You Like Your Thoughts Too Much to Let Them Go?
Some people say meditation is hard. Not because sitting is hard. Not because breath is hard.
But because they like their thoughts too much to stop thinking.
I’ve been there.
There’s a strange comfort in the swirl of thoughts — even the painful ones.
Worry makes us feel productive. Judgment makes us feel sharp. Planning makes us feel safe.
And so we cling — not to peace, but to the thoughts that keep peace just out of reach.
Are You Living in Survival Mode… and Don’t Even Know It?
This one hits deeper.
Most people in survival mode are so good at functioning, they don’t realize they’re stuck.
They call it “being prepared.”
They call it “just in case.”
But what it really is… is constantly bracing for something to go wrong, so there comes a plan B and a plan C.
Like if you can prepare for the worst, you’ll be strong enough to handle anything less.
But strength built on constant stress is not strength — it’s fear dressed up as control, the inability to “Let Go”.
How Much of This Pattern Can You Handle?
Ask yourself gently:
How long have you lived with this conflict in your head?
How much of your mental space is given to imaginary catastrophes?
How often do you expect disappointment before it even knocks?
And here’s the real question:
Is there a part of you that needs this intensity… because you don’t yet know who you are without it?
Maybe You’re Just Miswired
You’re not failing.
Your body just learned to feel safe in chaos.
Your nervous system memorized survival and now calls it home.
Your thoughts became the noise you cuddle at night, even if they hurt.
Here’s the good news! You can rewire.
You can stop chasing danger just to prove you can survive it.
You can stop mismanaging your thoughts by first noticing them — without judgement, without fixing.
Just seeing clearly.
That’s the quiet beginning of freedom, of peace.
What emotion feels most familiar to me? Do I secretly feel more myself in it than I do in peace?
When did I last feel safe in stillness?
What would change if I stopped preparing for everything to fall apart?
If these questions stir something in you — even a little discomfort — that’s the first sign the pattern is ready to be seen.
And once you see it, you can change it. That’s where the real work begins.
Through counselling sessions with me, we can untangle the emotional knots and find the patterns your nervous system has been living on autopilot.
Through meditation practice, we can begin retraining your body and mind to rest in peace without mistaking it for danger.
It’s not about “fixing” you — it’s about meeting yourself without the chaos.
The first step is simply recognising that you’ve been living in survival mode.
The second is choosing not to stay there.